Female orgasm remains misunderstood and misrepresented to date with many harmful myths about it continue to persist. Stereotypically, in all movies, songs, and the books that we are exposed to shows female orgasm the same way where it usually involves moaning, squealing and screaming (dramatic and loud). Whereas in pornography especially female figures are often overly performative. All these bad representations and misconceptions about orgasm lead to the toxic pressure that women (or anyone with vaginas) must over enhance our feelings that we are aroused! Pretty much cueing the history of “fake it till you make it” in order to please our partners.
So, what is a female orgasm? There isn’t a universal definition of orgasm because it is a very subjective experience and doesn’t always align with scientific conclusions. Just try asking a couple of women you know to describe orgasm, we bet the responses vary wildly. We are all unique and our reactions vary. That said, again what you see in movies and porn doesn’t necessarily reflect real-life nuances of an orgasm. So, to help you understand the inner working of women better, we at Beauty Insider Malaysia have answered all the ‘unanswered questions’ about female orgasm.
- 1. What Does an Orgasm Feels Like, Actually?
- 2. Is There a Certain Type of Orgasm?
- 3. Where is the G-spot?
- 4. How to Activate My G-Spot?
- 5. What Are The Other Spots That Can Trigger Orgasm?
- 7. How to Find My Erogenous Zones?
- 8. Is Female Ejaculation a Thing?
- 9. Can Orgasms Happen Without Sexual Stimulation?
- 10. What Happens in the Body when You Orgasm?
- 11. Female and Male Orgasm, Any Differences?
- 12. Can I Still Get Orgasm Once I’m Older?
- 13. What can I Do to Stimulate Orgasm?
- 14. How Do I Masturbate?
- 15. Is Orgasm The Peak of Sexual Satisfaction?
1. What Does an Orgasm Feels Like, Actually?
Well, regardless of gender an orgasm is a climactic peak in the arousal process so obviously it feels GOOOOOOOD! Some might start to feel little pings of lust and sweet anticipation within your body. While for others it comes like a burst of pleasure that can be like a little sneeze, or maybe a deep body quake!
2. Is There a Certain Type of Orgasm?
NO, contrary to popular belief orgasm doesn’t necessarily have to be when you hit the G-spot in your vagina. It can be at the clitoral, anal, cervical or even nipples. The term ‘orgasm’ is basically an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to female genitalia. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to achieving the big O.So, try to find your G-spot at all these spots and mix of all three every now and then!
3. Where is the G-spot?
The G-spot is an area along the front wall of your vagina. For some women, it can produce a very intense and very wet orgasm when stimulated. Generally, fingers or vibrators are the best way to hit the spot. Squatting will give you the best angle.
4. How to Activate My G-Spot?
SQUAT! For some, G-spots are easy to find while for others it needs some work. So, if you are struggling to find your spot, then try squatting in a way that the back of your thighs touches your knees. Then, insert your fingers or toy into the vagina. Curl your fingers up towards your belly button and move them in a “come here” motion. If you happen to find an area that feels especially good, keep going! You’ll feel like you have to pee then stop and enjoy the full-body release.
5. What Are The Other Spots That Can Trigger Orgasm?
Well, the female body really is a wonderland! Our neck, ears, and lower back, thighs and even feet are rich in erotically charged nerve endings begging to be touched. These areas are called the ‘Erogenous Zones’. Different women have different spots that incite them so we can’t say exactly which parts of your body will drive you cray-cray but is definitely worth the effort to find the spots!
7. How to Find My Erogenous Zones?
Let we said, it is def worth the effort to find your triggering spots if you want to enjoy the ultimate pleasure. There are a few ways to do this. Easiest of them all is, just take a feather or silky scarf and use it to find your body’s most sensitive areas. Don’t feel ashamed just get naked and relax so that you can focus on every tingle. Take note of these spots and try experimenting with different sensations, like squeezing or pinching. Practice makes perfect, so pleasure these areas and keep at to see how far you can go.
8. Is Female Ejaculation a Thing?
Yes, sis and it is, in fact, a fairly common thing! In fact, a scientific study found that more than 69% of women experience ejaculation during orgasm. Female ejaculation occurs when fluid is expelled from your urethral opening during orgasm or sexual arousal. The ejaculate is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles watered-down milk and contains some of the same components as semen. But don’t worry, if you don’t ejaculate! Not everyone does!!!!
9. Can Orgasms Happen Without Sexual Stimulation?
Shocking but YES! Studies show that some women can experience an orgasm even while sitting on a bus, working out at the gym or basically anywhere! There isn’t any explanation for why this occurs but spontaneous orgasms can be triggered. Especially during certain physical activities, your blood flow to the genitals will increase which can stimulate the clitoris. Some women have even reported having orgasms during childbirth!
10. What Happens in the Body when You Orgasm?
Hmm, this one is hard to say and cannot be generalised because everybody is different, and so are their orgasms. Some are more intense than others. Some last longer than others. Some are wetter than others.
But physically this is what happens during orgasm:
- Firstly, your vagina and uterus will contract rapidly
- Then, you’ll experience involuntary muscle contractions in other parts, like your abdomen and feet
- Your heart rate and breathing will quicken and your blood pressure will increase
- Lastly, you will feel a sudden relief of sexual tension or even ejaculate.
11. Female and Male Orgasm, Any Differences?
It may be surprising, but they aren’t any differences at all! Both involve increased blood flow to the genitals, faster breathing and heart rate, and muscle contractions. The only difference is tho is in the duration and recovery time (also known as afterglow). Female orgasm lasts longer, 13- 51 seconds on average while male orgasm often ranges from 10 to 30 seconds. And vaginas can typically have more orgasms if stimulated again, whereas penises typically have a refractory phase so another orgasm may need few minutes to days. Vagina power, YAY!
12. Can I Still Get Orgasm Once I’m Older?
DEFINITELY! Unlike men who often deal with erectile dysfunction as they age, women’s sex life actually improve as we get older. This is mainly because women are more confident in the bedroom when they are sexually experienced, and therefore enjoyed themselves more. In addition, the trust and intimacy most women feel from a long-term relationship could have helped improved their sexual confidence as well.
13. What can I Do to Stimulate Orgasm?
Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate! The key to achieving the best orgasm is to first love yourself and your body! Get naked and comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted or distracted, like in your bed or the bath then just look at your body and go like ‘GIRL’ YOU’RE HOT’! The more love you show your body the more you will get in return.
14. How Do I Masturbate?
Masturbation is the process to trigger your female sexual senses. There are so many ways you can do this but it does take a bit of practice and lots of time to learn what feels good and then to let go and allow orgasm to happen. All you need patience, confidence and the right tools and mindset to make it work best for you.
Here are some handy masturbation tips that might just do the trick:
- Try reading an erotic story or use your imagination to get yourself in the mood.
- Massage the fleshy area above your clitoris until you begin to get wet.
- Use lube and rub your clitoris faster and harder until you orgasm.
- Try using a vibrator as it can speed up the process.
- Get your brain in on the action with audio erotica or porn videos
- Lastly, don’t rush the process!!!
15. Is Orgasm The Peak of Sexual Satisfaction?
NOOOOOOOO! We know all these talks about orgasm would trigger you to experience but orgasms are just one way the body experiences sexual pleasure and not at all the way! Orgasms are just part of your sexual journey but certainly not the point of, nor the defining feature of good sex. So if you’ve never had an orgasm, don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with you! As long as the sex you’re having is consensual and pleasurable, it is all that matters!
*If you feel like you’re having trouble climaxing or have other concerns, see a gynaecologist or other healthcare providers that specialize in sexual health. They can answer any questions you may have and may be able to make some recommendations.